We’re all human. Yet at work, we tend to forget it. As a result, real conversations at work have become rare.

Think about your past week. How many times did you talk about numbers, deadlines or projects? And how many times did you ask someone how they were really doing?

If the second number is smaller, you’re not alone. Most of us are in the same boat. And that’s exactly where the opportunity is.

Behind the hallway “How’s it going?” 

At work, most conversations are about tasks. We follow up on a file, check a date, fix a problem. Then everyone goes back to their screen.

And when we do check in, it’s usually a quick “How’s it going?” in the hallway. The answer is almost always the same: “Good, thanks.” Then we move on.

According to Gallup, 21% of Canadian employees feel engaged at work. Behind that number are real people. And each of them has a reason nobody has heard yet.

We assume, we guess

First, we assume. An employee shows up late? He must be unmotivated. A manager snaps at someone? She must be difficult. A project stalls? The team must lack discipline.

Then, we act on what we think we see. We add a rule, a tool or a team activity.

And then, the problem comes back. Why? Because the employee who was late may have been worn out by tasks that just aren’t him. The manager may have been carrying too much. Since nobody asked, the real cause stayed put.

One sincere question can change what happens next.

Daring to say what’s really going on

At work, saying “I don’t like doing this task” or “I’m exhausted” takes courage. So does saying “I need help.” We worry about being judged, letting people down or looking weak.

It’s the same for bosses. We hesitate to share what’s really going on and to ask more personal questions, for fear of looking bad or intruding. Plus, the days are already packed.

When people feel safe to share what they’re going through, leaders finally get the information they need to decide.

The good news? Openness is simple to build. All it takes is sincere questions, asked often, and real listening.

So where do you start?

Three questions for a real conversation

These three questions take five minutes. Yet they change everything. They also go hand in hand with the human questions for your 2027 planning.

1. How tired are you, on a scale of 1 to 10?
It’s simple and clear. Plus, the person feels you care about them, not just their work.

2. What’s really weighing on you?
That one word, “really,” makes all the difference. It invites the person to go past their first answer.

3. What do you need to change that?
Now you’re looking for the solution together. The person isn’t alone with the problem anymore.

One tip: Take the answer as it comes. That’s what makes people want to open up next time.

What their answers tell you

When people answer honestly, the cause shows up. More often than not, it comes from one of the 3 parts of the mind.

• Cognitive (thinking): the person has too much information or too many tasks. Their head is full. Faced with a list that’s too long, they freeze.
• Affective (feeling): the day’s emotions weigh heavy, like the frustration of doing tasks they dislike. By the end of the day, their body is tired.
• Conative (doing): the person is working against their natural way of getting things done. They can still think, but their energy is drained.

So each kind of fatigue calls for a different fix. Sometimes, changing a few tasks is all it takes to give someone their energy back.

That’s why a real conversation is worth its weight in gold. It helps you fix the cause instead of the symptom.*

*Every month, a simple tool like the 3 Dimensions Check-In is sent to our newsletter subscribers. Subscribe here.

One conversation at a time

We’ve always started from the structure, not the person. We learned to assess, improve and strengthen structures. Does it feel natural to start from people instead? To look at someone through what they know, what they feel and how they naturally get things done? No. It goes against what we’ve learned, and it’s uncomfortable.

Start with one conversation at a time. No need for a big plan. Pick one person on your team. Ask them the three questions. Then listen all the way through.

Together, let’s put people back at the center. Let’s talk, human to human.

Want to go further? Book a private meeting or join Let’s Talk Alignment.